For years, as we grow and evolve into the person we will become, we develop our own veneer of sorts. Some are so thick that you could knock and hear an echo inside. Others are pretty thin - what you see is what you get. Now, on occasion, that might come across as abrasive but so be it. Others in their proximity just need to add a layer to their own coating to interact with them.
If they really want to.
Decades of experiences help us build and strengthen our outer persona. If we are fortunate, we are guided by those who have been there before. We grow. We evolve. We polish the surface. Some facets of ourselves we embrace and revel in (quietly lest we be perceived as braggarts), others we abhor and hide. We chip away at the edges in order to form a more perfect person. This goes on for pretty much all our lives. From pre-toddler to old age, we are encouraged to be the best we can be.
The factors which influence this process come from family, friends, our intellectual environment and that person we saw on the train yesterday who was a perfect example of who we don't want to be. We devise our own views of how our world should be and then our viewpoint communicates with that of others and we all grow. We evolve. Amazing.
Will an isolated person grow into a person who can relate to the social butterfly? Can a thoughtful one enjoy the vagaries of a spontaneous thrill seeker? How do our differences enhance each other? A lot depends on who we pull into our embrace. Even more depends on what we do with the knowledge we gain from them.