Trying to Understand

My words are stuck in my throat this morning and writing is my only solace for the welling of emotions careening in my head. I can't seem to stop writing. I feel like someone or something died and I need to make sense of it. 

I hardly slept for checking the updated election results throughout the night. Got a few hours towards morning. While my forty minute drive into work this morning looked the same, it sure didn't feel right. 

I have always felt so proud of my country and this election has uncovered things I never even contemplated about how half of our citizens may feel and think.

One can only hope that the rhetoric of his nasty campaign was the result of the heat of his battle, but it is hard to forget his words or actions when contemplating his true nature or to imagine his plans for our country and our relations with the world.  I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that there are so many people in this country - who are so different from the people I know - who feel such hatred and bigotry. I am stunned. It has been quite the revelation. 

On the other hand, half our society feels strong, responsible and open to diversity of both people and thought. I'm with them. If nothing else, this has pushed me to dig deeper, be better, be stronger, and more involved.

Rambling, I know, but just trying to work things out in my head and having an awful time of it.